As we continue in our series Confessions of a Pastor, I thought it would be a good week to post something about the 5 stages of Grief.
One of the things that the Confessions series has brought out is that it is “normal” to feel like not praying at times and it is “normal” to feel totally inadequate at times. It is also “normal” for fully devoted followers of Christ to deal with different types of loss during our lifetime.
Too often though, people approach loss from a perspective that if you are a Christian you simply need to pray and read your Bible more (take two aspirin and call me in the morning) as if only unspiritual people ever grieve. But that would be a complete denial of our humanity. Christ Himself grieved. He wept at the death of His friend. He cried out to the Father in the garden before His death. He even demonstrated anger and other stages of grief at Israels unbelief.
As we continue our “Confessions” this week remember that sometimes sometimes by looking in the mirror God calls us to leave something behind. Even though what He may be calling you too is better, it is still natural to need courage to move forward to experience some of the stages of grief as you leave something behind.
THE STAGES OF GRIEF
A Normal Life Process
At some point in our lives, each of us faces the loss of someone or something dear to us. The grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. Grief is the emotional suffering we feel after a loss of some kind. The death of a loved one, loss of a limb, even intense disappointment can cause grief. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage – acceptance.
Five Stages Of Grief
- Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer. - Anger.
The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she’s dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it. - Bargaining.
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, “If I do this, will you take away the loss?” - Depression.
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath. - Acceptance.
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.
Grief And Stress
During grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings. Sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt often accompany serious losses. Having so many strong feelings can be very stressful.
Yet denying the feelings, and failing to work through the five stages of grief, is harder on the body and mind than going through them. When people suggest “looking on the bright side,” or other ways of cutting off difficult feelings, the grieving person may feel pressured to hide or deny these emotions. Then it will take longer for healing to take place.
Recovering From Grief
Grieving and its stresses pass more quickly, with good self-care habits. It helps to have a close circle of family or friends. It also helps to eat a balanced diet, drink enough non-alcoholic fluids, get exercise and rest.
Most people are unprepared for grief, since so often, tragedy strikes suddenly, without warning. If good self-care habits are always practiced, it helps the person to deal with the pain and shock of loss until acceptance is reached.
doubts, and weariness….frustrations, concerns and mistakes. In “Confessions of a Pastor,” Pastor Craig opens up in hopes of shattering any false pretenses. What is it like to be a pastor? Probably a lot like being anyone else. Let go of the expectations and high standards that are keeping you in bondage and let God start to become one of your truest friends through your own confessions.
Received this Email tonight.
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